Practice to Navigate Paradox 

There is a verse from Lau Tzu that says: “Instead of trying to be a mountain, be the valley of the universe, so all things will come to you.” The last 5 years have been teaching me this– strong willed and motivated, I feel that I have a more inherent understanding of what it means […]

Larger than this: ballads, liver donations, and story 

This morning I was listening to a favorite song, “When the Roses Bloom Again”— an old ballad sort of song about a solider going off to war. He promises to return to his sweetheart when the roses bloom again, but is killed. As he’s dying, he requests/promises/ wishes to be with her again someday. I […]

Giving Birth Makes the Mind Mortal 

Last night my  3.5 year old got into bed with me. I slept between him and my 5 month old– as Jonas said when he woke up “you’re like a big burrito with us wrapping around you, Mom.” Exactly how I felt, I guess, as I woke and noted the matted state of my hair […]

He talks more than you do 

Yesterday we were driving home from a birthday party. It was nearly my children’s bathtime when we left. My three and a half year old sat in his car seat behind me and his brother beside him in his.  Jonas talked constantly. “He talks more than you” a close friend said when she came to […]

Pop is in the wind? 

We have been preparing for the holidays. Jonas has his advent’s calendar that Lisa, Tia, and I am made into the wee hours of the night last year. Each morning he eagerly pulls out a gift after standing in front of the felt calendar and asking “which one?” “Which number is today.” I didn’t consider […]

Birthdays, funerals, and motherhood 

After Jonas was born, I was sucked into a real quandary about my own mortality. There were some specific questions I could articulate (like who will raise my son if his father and I both die– a question we still haven’t answered). But more haunting than the handful of articulated questions I found myself pondering […]