“It’s all about me” is about you

I’ve been thinking about this site. This is an experiment for me. I find myself fluctuating between feeling invested in this (the building of a blog) and wanting to shut it down. I am not sure I was prepared to watch this practice, like most any other one, be yet another opportunity to watch my own attachments and issues rise up again. What will people think? Why do this if no one is reading it? Why be open if any one is reading it? On and on. Then, I got an email from a friend who just published her book. “Step by Step”, I hear her say as I read her writing about her process writing her book. (Thanks Jill!)

I recall, that as an undergraduate writing minor, I held tightly to the wisdom shared by older “real writers” that the real writers were simply those who kept writing. Ah. Yes. And the real yogis, and dancers, and teachers too, right? They are the ones that just keep doing it. So, I suppose, it is with blogging as well. And so, here I am again, writing.

Which brings me to my next thought. And that is the concern around the idea that this blog might seem to be “all about me.” And then, another sage in my life’s voice comes to me. “It is about you; stop trying to take you out of it” she once said, when I was trying to put together marketing materials for the services I offer as a freelancer. Why are you trying to be generic? Why are you taking you out of this?

And essentially, she is right, to some degree, we have to be part of that which we offer; to be of real service, we have to fully embrace exactly that.

I have spent a long time on a spiral around the role of self; which, I believe, is something we all do. Raised in the south, I had amble oppurunity to internalize the idea that I should serve. And yet, at the same time, I also learned the value of real service through the life I lived and the community I was a part of. Teaseing these apart– the sense of having to serve, and the natural need to be of service– has been a core part of my learning to be of real service in the world. Realizing what I actually have to offer to the world has been key to teasing these apart, which , of course, is a work in progress.

I do believe that we each have gifts and that those gifts are meant to be used. Tapping into them and putting them out into the world is the only way to be of ultimate service. In the Artist Way at Work, Julia Cameron has an exercise in which she suggest that you write down what you were criticized for as a child/youth.  What you’ll find, she suggests, are your strengths.  It’s as though our gifts come out so strong that the world tries to tame us. And we certainly need refinement, all of us. However, most of us tend to loose site of the impulse, the instinct, that drives us when we try to refine it. I spent a long time trying not to be in charge of things, because I was always told that I was too bossy. I learned to be a good listener and many other invaluable things as a result of this, but I also spent a long time coming back to my own innate leadership capacities.(another work in progress).

I believe that we all do this. And  because we do this, we have a hard time supporting others not to do this. Meaning that it is not as easy as we think to find support for achieving our highest capacities, and developing our honest and deep talents.

Essentially, we have to move away from ourselves, study ourselves, refine our capacities. But we also have to return to our authentic capacities, and embrace them. If we don’t, we’ll never be able to support anyone else fully, which would be more self serving than coming into our capacities, and using them every day to support our communities.

So whatever you do well, keep doing it! And believe that when you see a need and know how to address it, that you should go for it. That is, at the end of the day, the way everything gets done. Imagine what you could do with your energy and talent if you saw it as something you simply tended to regularly, like grocery shopping or showering. You, like my friend Jill, might have a book in your hand. One step at a time; make it about you, and then let it open up and become so much bigger!

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6 comment(s) on ““It’s all about me” is about you

  • I love your unique voice Traci. You always have something I need to hear expressed in a way I can actually digest. Big love!

  • Go, go, go Traci…..if I don’t get to know you better, then I’m moving on. You have important things to share….blog away!
    ….now, I have to start mine…oh, crap! ; 0

  • And then there’s always the mirror…. we, the readers, might see our own selves reflected in your journey… and that is so valuable…

    I eagerly anticipate more… do no be afraid! 😀

  • I love Cameron’s idea of taking the things you’re criticized for and making them your strengths. Be what you are, and don’t apologize for it. You’re right, Traci: writers, teachers, yogis, artists, and poets are the just the people who kept doing it and didn’t quit. Thanks for the great post!

  • i am reading you! and lovin’ it. when i see your tweets, I always look fwd to seeing what they’ll contain this time.
    namaste and you go girl.

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