What would I have done if not this? 

Everything has its honeymoon period. I believe that I have just exited my honeymoon with West Philadelphia. At least I’ve observed this pattern often enough to know that it always comes and doesn’t have to constitute a crisis, just careful observation and measured response. The summer was hot; the humidity high, the city loud, dirty, […]

Giving Birth Makes the Mind Mortal 

Last night my  3.5 year old got into bed with me. I slept between him and my 5 month old– as Jonas said when he woke up “you’re like a big burrito with us wrapping around you, Mom.” Exactly how I felt, I guess, as I woke and noted the matted state of my hair […]

Did I really google “Am I a bad mother”? 

We live in the age of internet searches. My son recently wanted to knit a scarf. He’s 3.5. It’s been so long since I knitted that I told him I couldn’t remember how. He bent his arms, pulled his elbows in towards his sides, opened his hands towards the ceiling and said, “actually, Mom, you […]

He talks more than you do 

Yesterday we were driving home from a birthday party. It was nearly my children’s bathtime when we left. My three and a half year old sat in his car seat behind me and his brother beside him in his.  Jonas talked constantly. “He talks more than you” a close friend said when she came to […]

Pop is in the wind? 

We have been preparing for the holidays. Jonas has his advent’s calendar that Lisa, Tia, and I am made into the wee hours of the night last year. Each morning he eagerly pulls out a gift after standing in front of the felt calendar and asking “which one?” “Which number is today.” I didn’t consider […]

Birthdays, funerals, and motherhood 

After Jonas was born, I was sucked into a real quandary about my own mortality. There were some specific questions I could articulate (like who will raise my son if his father and I both die– a question we still haven’t answered). But more haunting than the handful of articulated questions I found myself pondering […]

My face 

“My children.” “My children, ”  I find myself repeating, measuring time with the phrase- not sure if the fact that they are mine or that there are two makes this my mantra. My eyes are blurred, staring over my left shoulder out the living room window. I am sitting on the floor, where I have […]

Notes from the 4 week mark 

Tomorrow Elias is 4 weeks. Without meaning to, I find myself pulled back to vivid memories of the crazy time, 3 years ago when Jonas was 4 weeks. Then I was in Hudson NY. My husband was on the job market–finishing his phd. I was torn apart by the emotions of becoming a mother. Facing […]

Two Books: Mindfulness and Children 

I am working with a partner on the curriculum for the Children’s Community School— a progressive preschool opening in West Philadelphia that will integrate mindfulness practice. It is an exciting venture. As a part of this, I am researching books to share with our parent and teacher community. In today’s newsletter for the school, I […]

Community, Parenting, Emotions 

I am rereading Thomas Merton’s No Man is an Island. In it he writes ” One of the moral diseases we communicate to one another in society comes from huddling together in the pale light of an insufficient answer to a questions we are afraid to ask.”  In community, it is easy to do this. […]